I published my poetry collection, eeee!!!!
Okay, let’s calm down – note to myself. I published it in May 2020 so this is already too late.
Hi everyone, this blog has been inactive lately because, in the world of quick social media updates and snackable content in bite sizes, I am not sure if anyone still reads blogs anymore. Especially mine, because I always tend to write lone-ish posts. Also, life has been busy with work from home in this new COVID world – it almost feels like I’m in a simulation, this can’t be real.
But in an inspired bout of productivity in the earlier part of the year, I did gather the courage to publish a very short collection of my poems on Kindle. The poetry collection is called “This Heartbreak” and in it, you will meet 50 short (and amateur) poems on all-consuming unreasonable love, on dark and prolonged heartbreak, and the silver of hope that refuses to leave even in the darkest of the hour.
I don’t want to talk about either of those here, all of us know it too well, in our own personal capacity and way – but I will say this: This Heartbreak is close to my heart and the poems are as real as they are raw. I am no poetess, I am just a fiction writer who happens to love poems – and this is me attempting poetry. Unlike with my other two books, this one makes me nervous.
Here is the book:
The cover was shot by my talented sister, and my friend Neha Kapoor edited this for me.
This poetry collection on love, loss, and heartbreak, is available for INR 100 on Kindle and for FREE on Kindle Unlimited. If you’re in the US / Europe, you can also get a paperback, yay! [And if you do, please keep one copy for me because I can’t get that in India, and I’d love to have the physical version of this book]
Please read the book, enjoy the poems, and maybe use them as captions on Instagram? No? Okay, well. I know it’s too much to ask for, but that’s my goal – to have someone use one of my poems as their Instagram caption. Sigh. A girl can dream!
I am sure you will like at least a few poems from this collection but be warned, a few of the poems are dark and might have triggers. I’m sharing one pome here for you all. This is not my favorite piece from the collection, but it is close. And I am told by at least six people who have read the poems, that this gave them goosebumps and six is good sample size for a project this small in scale, lol. But well, you be the judge. Here it is:
I want to give a disclaimer here – I don’t think I am done with these poems I published. I still want to work more on these 50 poems, I still see more stories in them than is evident, so I feel the constant need to edit them, and I did not think I’d ever share them with the world. The reason I eventually put it out on Kindle is that I realized that they will never be perfect – every time I read them, I will want to edit this, change that, and drop something altogether. Self-doubt crept in every time I was close to a decision on publishing this.
Self-doubt is the thing I struggled with all through 2019 and a larger part of 2020. The confidence I’ve always had in myself, in my ability to put in the effort, to work hard and make things happen, took a hit like it never had – the heavy feeling of not being enough, of being an imposter in my own world, and just not being worth it kept looming over my head from time to time, and what’s funny is that I have nothing – no situation or person, to blame it on. Maybe it’s all these planet retrogrades I keep reading about on Twitter? [I really need to Google what the hell does a retrograde mean, I feel so stupid not knowing and yet bring it up in conversations]
I guess what I’m saying is that life is great, I’m doing good and everything is as I always dreamt it should be – and yet I felt my stomach sink from time to time. I tried to harness those feeling, as fleeting as they may be, into writing. And although most of it will not see the light of the day because I will never be confident about it, I did take the leap on this one. For the rest of my writing in drafts, we’ll see how it goes.
If you’re into poems, do give this poetry collection a shot.
Stay safe, stay indoors. Hugs to anyone still reading this, btw. You are awesome and I thank you for your faith and love. Hugs!