Tough call, I know.
I think of myself as an expressive person, and I am generous with compliments and encouragement. But turns out, I am still left with a lot of unsaid things that I should have said! I read this piece last night, and it got me thinking. I thought about the things I wish I had said just this week, but did not, and I was shocked that they were quite a few. Hmm, interesting. I was wrong about myself, and how bad is that!
So here they are, 20 thing I did not say to people, but totally should have, in the past month.
1. “They don’t hate you, they wish they were you. Army wife life is tough on all of us, and most women don’t get to be more than just an Army Wife. Congratulations.”
2. “You are not “fat”. You looked resplendent at that party and I wish you had a little self confidence.”
3. “Don’t talk to me about your book that I know you will never finish. It annoys me to no end because I know you are stuck. Start a new one. Or take a break from it for a while. Or take a break from everything else you’re doing and finish the damn thing. It makes me sad to see so much potential and so little faith.”
4. “Get over the entire Army drama. Stop being ambitious about your husband’s career. You are educated and smart, and you used to be fun. What the hell happened to you?”
5. “Get over yourself. That duck face selfie flood on Instagram is annoying, pictures of your lips / cleavage / legs are sad, and so are your Whatsapp messages asking me to like them. You’re past 30, have some class, lady.”
6. “You are amazing, and so, so talented. I wish you believed in yourself some more. This phase is temporary – don’t let it take over your life. Do more of what you love. really. Hugs!”
7. “I know how you feel, those loud laughter-fits aren’t fooling me. I know you think everything is pointless, but it isn’t. I know you feel you’re close to drowning, and I wish you didn’t feel that way. We have been friends for years now, and I hate that you don’t want to accept that you might need help.”
8. To the same person – “I know I hurt you, but I know depression too well to not say anything and watch you drift. I’m not sorry. I’ll do it again – suggest that you seek help. I love you.”
9. “You have hurt me beyond repair. That’s all.”
10. “I am worried as hell about my next book. I am extremely nervous about my upcoming travel. I mess things up. I am not very good with people management. I feel like I am not doing enough. I try. I am human. I am not someone you should be jealous of. Find a better use of your energy.”
11. “I know you told them. I am not mad. Army wife life is not easy. We’ll be even soon.”
12. “I think you stole my lipsticks. Three of them.”
13. “We are not friends. I am friendly with everyone. That does not mean I want to listen to your endless bitching.”
14. “It’s not you, it’s the bad vibe I get from you.”
15. “I’ve only met you twice, at media events. You are a good person and you’re too hot for your own good. I sincerely hope you find love.”
16. “I’ve only met you twice, at media events. You are a terrible person and an extremely insecure one, at that. I sincerely hope you find peace of mind.”
17. “I don’t know you well enough to say this (which I why I did not) – you are wonderful. You are helpful and generous, and I wish things were easier for you.”
18. “Stop worrying about your kid. She’s only 3! It’s okay if the school isn’t teaching her odd and even numbers yet, she’s having fun at the school and comes back singing cute rhymes and I think you need to relax. Jeez.”
19. “I don’t think you are thinking this through. I think it is stupid. But hey, not my circus, not my monkeys.”
20. “I wish I had not seen that. Damn.”