It has harmed my social status, actually. I think I come across as a bitch at times but you know, whatever. I oppose gender bias faced by girls and as long as I can stop some of it, I’m okay with whatever tag they give me.
So yeah, I endorse pretty much everything anyone does in the name of feminism. Except a few. It kills me to see some really bad and downright stupid things being done in the name of Feminism.
Feminism is not about establishing one gender as the master of the other. We should be respected, no matter what gender. Without one, we wouldn’t be here. And our fight should be against all things that are wrong – not for gross hairy armpits, stay-at-home-mom bashing and men hating. It’s ridiculous. So let’s lighten up a bit, shall we?
I am the one telling people on twitter and everywhere else that feminism is not a dirty word, but few things do make it ugly. A few things that are NOT okay in the name of Feminism that make me want to throw up or worse, to march right up the person and slap the shit out of her/him, are not many. Why, of course I made a list! here we go:
Things You Should NOT Do In The Name Of Feminism:
1. Don’t run a marathon without a tampon or a pad when you’re on your period, bleeding your way to the finish line. Just don’t. I mean, what mensuration taboos were broken by this? How is it even remotely helping the cause of uplifting the womankind? HOW? It was okay till the Stop Waxing Legs Movement because apparently we girl wax and preen only for men (haha!), or till the hairy armpits because I Am Who I AM and Men Don’t Shave It So We Won’t Either campaign.
But making me watch you bleed from between your legs is not okay. It is one thing to be open about, and unashamed of menstruating, it is totally another to throw it in my face. Also, hygiene? Teach young girls that there’s nothing to be ashamed about having your period, but also please don’t forget basic hygiene when you do so. Also once again, no one wants to see you bleeding dammit!
I bleed every month and even I don’t want to see blood between your legs. Disgusting. Sure, it’s a natural phenomenon – but so is peeing, and I sure don’t want to see a video of a girl peeing in the name of Feminism. Keep that shit to yourself. My friend writes about this in detail here, and it’s amazing. Read it.
2. Don’t broadcast downright stupid and/or nasty things on public forums for your own hunger for attention or out of an impending sense of limelight-grabbing, and then complain about being trolled. Don’t take every nasty thing that happens to you in the Feminism context. If you are on public forums expressing your views freely, remember that freedom of speech is a right for others to exercise too. Democracy, remember?
3. Don’t cry foul if a “male” contradicts you, or has a different opinion. We fight for equality, not for superiority. You can’t fight for the latter, seriously. Being a Feminazi does not equals to fighting for gender equality.
4. Men Bashing isn’t part of the Feminism goal. Being a feminist should not mean you blame every single man in your life for hundreds of years of oppressive behavior. There are rapists, they are molesters, they are bosses who pay us way less than our male counterparts – but there are also our dads, our brothers, our boyfriends and our husbands. Not all men are alike and regardless men bashing is not Feminism.
5. Bringing other women down. Be nice to other girls, be supportive, be kind. I’ve written about this earlier, and I will write more. Don’t judge your friend for agreeing to arranged marriage. Don’t hate a girl for quitting her job to have a kid. Don’t tell her she is a shame to all womankind because she doesn’t want kids. Don’t give her a hard time because she goes to work after having a kid, or doesn’t go back to work after having a kid.
It’s okay either way! Stop equating putting make-up and wanting to look good with weakness, or male-attention seeking. Stop using the phrase ‘It Must Be Her’. Feminism is about respecting a woman’s choice, isn’t it? And while we can support and empower her, that actual choice in itself is none of our business. If you don’t like it, too bad.
6. Don’t have double standards. Please, don’t. You’re embarrassing all of us. If you fight for equality, remember that wanting to be treated like a queen is not fair because equality, right? Brutal, I know, but isn’t it true? Think about it.
There is no simple solution to all that women endure today. There should not be one reaction fixed for all so called anti-feminist things that happen everyday. We fight for equal right, we will continue to do so. But being unreasonable is not the answer.
Don’t be stupid, find some logic. Find the balance between firm stand for the betterment of women, and outrage for causes that do anything but help the cause. Find a strong voice. Find a strong reason. Also, find a tampon, please?