Quote Un-Quote: Toddler Version

Two and a half year old Gauri is now talking non stop, but you already know that if you read my stuff everywhere. What you don’t know is that she’s also misquoting me all the time – putting me in awkward spots with people. And this is quickly becoming a regular thing, like twice in a week on an average. She will listen to what I have to say to her, and then say it wrong in a totally different context. Result: Mumma’s embarrassment. I am really trying to filter out a lot of things I say now, because: toddler in the picking-up-everything-except-what’s-being-told-to-her phase.

Aditi Mathur Parenting Blog Post
Source: bluntcards.com

No, I’m not complaining – My intention here is to simply catalog it all here so that when she’s 16 and cribs about the “embarrassing stuff” I say in front of her friends, I can promptly show her all this and yell ‘Now We’re Even, Kid!” like a crazy mamma and do some air guitar-ing with background music for effect. 

Yeah, it’s a twisted in my head – I’m exhausted today. Just go with it, please? Okay. So here are a few misquoting-situations the toddler has put me in.


Toddler: Papa, I want vodka.
The Husband: WHAT? 
The Toddler: Vodka. Vodka. Mumma says Vodka best. *Twirls and shakes merrily*
The Husband: Adiiiiiiii! (yells my name)
Me: Yeah?
The Husband (looking pale): She said she wants vodka, mumma says vodka is the best?
Me: Oh, haha. She means the song Char Botal Vodka. It’s on your phone. 
The Husband (eyeing me weirdly): Phew. I almost had a heart attack. I thought –
Me: Please. You know I don’t even like Vodka.
Toddler: Mumma loves Vodka! *dances*


Neighbor (to the toddler): Hello little one, do you remember me?
Toddler: Yes. Black aunty.
Me & Neighbor together:  What?
Toddler: Mumma says aunty is black.
Neighbor (look at me): Um?
Me: I said ‘aunty is back. BACK’. Because you’re back from your vacation. 
Neighbor (looks uncertain): Um.
Toddler: Ah. Aunty is black! Aunty is black from waakaayyyshion! *claps*


Husband’s friends are visiting.
One of them to the toddler: You don’t like cake, honey?
Toddler: Like. *nods fervently*
Husband’s Friend: Then why aren’t you eating?
Toddler: Mom says Don’t. Old. Cake.
Hisband’s Friend (to me): Ma’am. Are you giving us old cake to eat?
Me: Oh. No no no. She means Don’t Hold Cake. You know? Because she was wanting to hold the damn cake in her hands and it is obviously – sees that they are all sniggering anyway – oh never mind. Eat the damn cake.
Toddler: Don’t. Old. Cake! *giggles*

So, you see? But then, for every 3 cringe-worthy mis-quotes, she does something incredibly awesome, and evens it all out. Example:


The Husband (comes home after a month and a half of fauji travel): Hello!
Toddler: Hello Papa! MUMMA LOVES YOU! MUMMA LOVES YOU! *jumps up and down*
The Husband: Oh. Wow. Thanks. (kisses my head)
Me: Yeah. Well. (smiling and shrugging)
(I had said ‘Mumma loves you’ to her, after a strict lesson on finishing her lunch, just minutes ago. And for all I know, she was just repeating it, but who’s complaining? It is the truth, after all.)

I am sure that
this is the best stage – toddler-hood. It’s so much fun! Like
having your own unbelievably cute tiny person who talks and laughs and dances at most random
moments. Totally Adorable!

PS: I might make this into a regular series, recording the totally inappropriate and equally adorable things she says, until she grows up and demands deleting this blog. Let’s have fun while we can, okay? 🙂

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Post Author: Aditi Mathur Kumar

Author. Traveller. Blogger. Talker. Eavesdropper.

3 thoughts on “Quote Un-Quote: Toddler Version

  • […] other places – and all the articles about her have been super hit with my darling readers. The Toddler Quote – Unquote article is still one of my top performing parenting articles ever! So this time, for the Joy of Five […]

  • anupriyabasu123

    (May 6, 2016 - 8:55 pm)

    Such an adorable post! My mom keeps telling me stories about how I used to embarrass her in front of everyone. On one particular occasion we had gone to see a new-born baby, so I looked at the baby and declared that it looks like an owl! Imagine my mum’ face, but I was just 3 or 4!

    • Aditi Mathur Kumar

      (May 25, 2016 - 1:39 pm)

      Hahaha! Hilarious. Gauri once saw a new born and declared this wasn’t even a human baby. Thank God her speech wasn’t very clear at the time so only I understood what she said and covered it up by changing the subject. Thanks for dropping by! 🙂

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