Of Books, Clients, Couples and Other Unrelated Things

Please note that I will be referring to the couple as a singular entity in this post, for two stupids together maketh a stupid couple.


How stupid can the couples get? And by couples I mean NOT the married kind, like yours truly, or the serious couples who intend to stay together, but the dating and ‘taking things slow’ and ‘seeing where it goes’ kind. Ugh. The thing with such couples is they are way too predictable. For my liking anyway. It’s annoying, even maddening to be around a couple these days. First, these days they come in special nauseating variety that takes the entire concept of PDA to a whole new level of gross. Second, they lie about how they met. Jeez! Why somebody would do that, is beyond my scope of understanding. A couple recently told me over a glass of wine, that met at a painting exhibition in Mumbai, which is a grand lie. I know because the girl saw the guy in one of the conferences in Delhi and asked me (I was in the same conference too, yes) to get his number so that she could dial a ‘wrong number’ and talk to him. Cheap trick, but I helped and two months later this is what they tell me. She probably thinks I have amnesia of the thousandth degree and I don’t remember her drooling over him and two other guys in that conference. I stared at her for like, 5 seconds, giving my best wide eyed look, but she just smiled and clutched the guys hand with affection. I emptied my entire glass in one gulp.

Then there’s this guy I know from work, who started dating his girlfriend’s best friend recently, and the how-we-met-each-other story they go around telling is that they met at work – she was the client and he, the account manager at the ad agency. Would have been cute, if it was true. I mean, I understand if he feels a tad embarrassed to tell random people that he first cheated and then ditched his previous girl for her best friend, but lying to someone who has received phone calls from your hysterical ex trying to find out what went wrong, is a bit of a stretch. Really.

And this is not all, I know loads of such bright and / or delirious couples who go on and on about a totally fake story of how they met. What is interesting though, is the length to which they are willing to go and make a story up. Sometimes you see genius calculated planned story that covers all loopholes, at other times you witness a lot of imagination and Bollywood-y fantasy in the stories. You smile and nod politely. And of course there are the lazy-ass couples who don’t make any effort in trying to think of something even remotely believable even to a complete stranger – and then some who just produce a different story every time they are asked – Hey, how did you two meet dude?

Liars, that’s what they are. My theory is:

  • If they say ‘Our Parents introduced us, you know!’ – they actually met while lurking on an online matrimony site
  • If they say ‘We are childhood sweethearts!’ – they actually met through friends who set them up on blind dates
  • If they say ‘We met at a conference’ – they actually met at a random party when they were both drunk
  • If they say ‘We met through common friends’ – they actually met at a bar where each one had gone looking for lowe
  • If they say ‘We met at a bar’ – they actually met online which could be one of those chat rooms, or Orkut even, you know, because studies have revealed that about 9% of people on Orkut aren’t psychos who want to call u for a meet and then kill / rape you, so there’s no need to be such haters, you guys. Jeez! *rolls eyes*
  • And , if they say ‘We met online’, then either she is a hooker or he is a male-hooker, you know.

True story.

My conclusion is –stop believing what they say about how they met each other. That is, if you care as much as I do about these lame couples. I mean you could just not give a fuck and be happy, right? Seriously, why do I give a damn about it, again?


Before I end this topic here, I have to say that rare as they are, there exist couples who don’t care about the world and what people think about them. There are people in love and for them, love is all that matters. I’d like to write about them sometimes, too. But then I’m the one who was once fondly known as the Anti Love Guru, so what do I know, eh?

Moving on to the next unrelated topic – clients. Lately the clients have been driving me crazy. C.R.A.Z.Y. This week especially sucked big time and the only reason I can think of to not throw my hand up and run away screaming is that I have it better than those people repairing my tin roof every day. Them and the dead people – I am better off than both I guess. So that’s a relief.

Somehow I am always working and there are days when I can barely log-in to my Twitter and see if some one’s missed me. Lame, I know. But that’s not the point here – the point is, I have somehow managed to get neck deep in work even while working from home on my own clients. My. Own. Clients. Remember all those times when I cried ‘Freedom!’ when I had just stopped working full time? You’d think I’ll keep in under control now with no boss, my own rules and my own clients. No sir. I have completely lost it and I am constantly slogging my ass off.

Um. This is where I stop discussing work – I have a feeling a couple of clients secretly love my blog and we don’t want to upset a reader now, do we? On to books now. I haven’t read a single book, let alone complete one, for about a zillion years now. No, really! I started reading ‘The Ladies No.1 Detective Agency’, smiling at the thin book every time I picked it up thinking ‘Oh I’ll finish this baby in 3 days.’.

It’s been a month.

And to clear doubts, it is not a bad book in anyway. It’s not brilliant, but come on, I’ve read a few crass Indian attempt at chick-lit for Gossake! In my good days, I would have finished at least 4 books by now. Now you see how much I’m missing out on because of stupid work?

Anyway, I finally got the perfect escape Blogadda asked me if I would judge a contest for them, called ‘My Oldest Book and its Memories. ‘Affirmative!!’ I shouted and click-clicked my way to the contest page. Blogadda, along with Friends of Books had created a contest so delicious, that I kicked myself mentally for not participating in it. All I had to do was dig out my oldest book (which BTW, is older than me by almost a decade), write about the memories attached to it (Stealing it from my uncle one summer afternoon when I was 9) and who I’d give it to (no one) and if possible, post a picture of the oldie but goodie book. But the well established fact by now is, I was buried in stupid work.

After reading more than 30 blog posts by a really talented lot, I was kind of relieved I didn’t participate. I picked out the winners and wondered about the state of Indian Publishing Industry. Hmm. There must be a deep deep DEEP reason why, despite having a pool of such unmatched talent on the blogsphere, we are only publishing the really inane ones. Maybe it’s a conspiracy by aliens to invade the planet. Can’t think of any other reason, really.

Post Author: Aditi Mathur Kumar

Author. Traveller. Blogger. Talker. Eavesdropper.

20 thoughts on “Of Books, Clients, Couples and Other Unrelated Things

  • Tripti Khanna

    (December 10, 2010 - 2:40 pm)

    Super post!
    Have to read it again at work next week, just for a good laugh.
    Keep writing girl, good to see two back to back posts this month.

  • Bishwanath Ghosh

    (December 10, 2010 - 11:31 pm)

    The final paragraph, I must say, is delicious.

  • Feline

    (December 11, 2010 - 2:58 pm)

    Loved this post. A mix of funny and thoughtful. Love your blog 🙂

  • Anonymous

    (December 11, 2010 - 2:59 pm)

    Super post!

    – Keval

  • Rima

    (December 11, 2010 - 3:08 pm)

    And its actually true, why don't they tell the true story of how it all began? I tell everyone that I met my guy in Goa while on a holiday, and you know it. What's the need to hide it? Gooooooood post girl

    By the way I know who you are talking about – the conference couple. ROTFL!

  • Bedazzled

    (December 12, 2010 - 5:15 am)

    Oh,i know tonnes of couples who concoct vague,misleading stories of how they met.I loved Ideasmithy's post for the contest .. lol on the alien conspiracy theory..

  • Anonymous

    (December 12, 2010 - 10:50 am)

    I think the same about the recent books being published in India. They should really start reading some of the blog and then decide. Maybe you should give it a try 🙂

    -Jam Jammy

  • Kuntal !~ Kittu~!

    (December 14, 2010 - 1:25 pm)

    Lol, interesting post, wud love to read it again 😉

  • go-phish

    (December 20, 2010 - 3:25 pm)

    hahaha… adiiiI!! hilarious as always! but it seems you're the shoulder people lean on (on the bright side..eeehh..if you want to look there that is!)
    you know..
    the crying
    the asking to get number
    all show that people see you as a helpful generous non-judgemental soul.. 🙂

    now if only they'd read the blog..haha.. no but really.. i know lies can get superrrr frustrating..esp blatant ones.. but think how embarrassed they must be to come up with that!
    (heart goes out)

    i mean can you reaaaaally tell someone you 'wrong called' someone deliberately? hehe.. funny though!
    cant believe it worked…

    enough with the rambling.. love your writing! you know that! keep it coming 🙂

  • Adi Crazy

    (December 23, 2010 - 4:15 pm)

    Tripti: Thanks! 🙂 I Try.

  • Adi Crazy

    (December 23, 2010 - 4:16 pm)

    Bishwanath: Thank-you, I like it too 😀

  • Adi Crazy

    (December 23, 2010 - 4:16 pm)

    Feline: Aww..thanks a bunch!

  • Adi Crazy

    (December 23, 2010 - 4:17 pm)

    Keval: 😀

  • Adi Crazy

    (December 23, 2010 - 4:17 pm)

    Rima: HAHAHAH! I know you know. Shhh!

  • Adi Crazy

    (December 23, 2010 - 4:18 pm)

    Bedazzled: Ditto. I hate to listen to stupid stories 😐 I liked her post too, gave her the third prize in that contest. 🙂

  • Adi Crazy

    (December 23, 2010 - 4:18 pm)

    Kittu : Read again! Read Again! heehee

  • Adi Crazy

    (December 23, 2010 - 4:19 pm)

    Go-phish : LOL I hope they do read this post, they'll know I'm talking about them. Hehe. Thanks a ton sweeti!

  • Som Shekhar

    (January 4, 2011 - 7:01 pm)

    Life is all about being accepted. While people do lie about how they met or how things are so smooth about themselves or even how committed they are…

    the fact is that truth is overrated. we all need to become matured enough to start accepting the truth and encourage it. when a couple says that they met by dialing a wrong number, everyone else is going to make fun of them and they are just trying to avoid it. only if we could accept and help such people to be accepted around, the story might be a little different.

    otherwise, good blog buddy.

  • Sam P

    (February 6, 2011 - 12:50 pm)

    Awesome post adicrazy! I'm hooked to your blog!!!

  • atulsian

    (March 13, 2011 - 9:58 pm)

    haha…so true n cudnt agree more bout fake cushy-mushy couple stories ! have heard them off n on…never cared much though.

    stumbled upon ur blog from twitter,
    had a good laugh! keep writing stuff!


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