This is for one of those confession days. This is for days when you are suddenly sure that if not told today, your grand story dies with you. This is so much fun. And exciting. And new. And fresh. And it gives you an amazing thrill. Trust me. Imagine telling a tale – real or made up – to someone who has no or very less idea about who you really are. He expects nothing and can easily accept you as you want him to, because he is unaware of the real you and your reputation of oh-here-she-comes-to-unfurl-another-story——yetttttt-again.
You see? It’s easy. And oh-so-damn-relaxing! Did someone mention Yoga? Try talking to a stranger. Who said it’ll be boring and confusing; you can talk about interesting things – made-up interesting things. Any average human being will always be interested in stories like heartbreaking break-ups including a suicide attempt, insider gossip stories about someone really famous who you happen to know very very well, infidelity in marriages these days or about the misogynist males in the society. Don’t hold back, just make up some story and feed their hunger for knowledge. Just be confident and talk animatedly, throwing your hands in the air, raising your voice at an instance or two, wiping a tear of excitement off your wide eyes and the works. These are embellishments that add to the grace and truth-quotient of the story. You want an example? No problem.
Yes, I actually did this. (straight face)
The person actually was not a “stranger” stranger, we’ve known each other professionally since a few months and I talk to him on the phone almost 5 times daily, and chase him for media plans and media buying and similar stuff. So, last night, after breaking my cell phone screen into 3 and a half pieces and not having any-bloody-one to share views on cruelties of life and brood upon the games life play – well, hello! I was hurt! My cell phone for chrisssssake!!! – I browsed my phone book and saw Vivek’s (Yes, that’s him) number in last dialled. I had this urgent impulse to call and tell him how my cell phone broke and how I am sad in life and how I think I am overworking but under-performing and how life is treating me so harshly and blah blah blah…But obviously I recollected my senses and realized I couldn’t possibly call him – at 12 in the night – for no reason at all. Hmm. Idea! Why not text him something weird, something incoherent and pointless – say something like “Not at all! Don’t even try to force me! Now you have royally put, not one, but both your feet in your own mouth. I HATE YOUUUU!”? Ta Da. Yes??? What do you say?? 🙂 Well, whatever you say, I did send this text message to him and immediately called him to tell him that the text was not for him, but was meant for someone else and I accidently sent it to him. Ummm…actually, the “immediately” was so damn immediate that I called him up before he received my text message. Reliance sucks. Anyway, I started with the rehearsed lines of the-text-you-just-got-was-for-a-friend-I’m-sorry-did-I-disturb-you?-aww and quickly got to the topic – broken cell phone and life – ignoring his lack of response. I said “Oh Vivek, you know what? My cell phone fell down and broke! This is insane! I am so pathetic right now. I looooowed this darling cell phone man! It was my partner in solitude. When other girls in the PG I once lived, used to talk non stop on phone, me and my cell phone took pride in being able to rest & relax. When those obscene girls used to blow kisses on the phones, I used to keep mine warm and safe under my pillow. You’re not busy by any chance, are you? Awww…We were a happy couple – me and the phone. Man, I’m so hurt, I don’t know what to do…..” Vivek – confused at the sudden outpour- said “oh!….Man!…..ah….errr…..awww….No…yes, actually I am a bit bussieee……..oh don’t worry….Oh…..oh no….ya?….awww….hmmmm” Nice guy. 🙂
So you noticed how he gave me the lead to keep talking. Don’t blame me now. He seemed interested. I quickly made a mental note of things I wanted to say aloud and say to “someone” and quickly prioritized them. You never know when the guy hangs up, right? It pays to be prepared. Yes, so I told him how broke I am at the moment – financially – and how my funds are becoming seemingly tiny day by day. Then I went to other well chosen subjects like life, global warming, benefits of drinking warm water, how much SRK sucks, why Bhajji didn’t slap Symmonds and who killed Benazir. Hey, I suddenly remembered – I must share this amazing India Australia Cartoon with you guys – must watch! It is here. Go see and tell me how did u find it. 🙂 so I had this amazing stress-relieving and encouraging conversation (actually a monologue, I think he kept the phone somewhere and got back to work somewhere in between the warm- water-to-drink discussion.)
Whatever. I am so much relieved. The conflict of being the person I’m supposed to be and the person I actually am gets to me sometimes and my stranger helped me brush that off. Now you go try it out and lemmi know. Find someone at work, at a disc, a bar or coffee shop. All the best!!